It had never occurred to me that there were vegan considerations when it comes to sex. I mean, for me it's all about the food. I have leather seats in my car and wear shoes made of leather. The idea of not using other animal products isn't something that really crossed my mind. But, for a lot of my friends who identify as "Vegan" this is something that they probably think about. Many Vegans eschew products that are composed of or use animal products in their manufacture. Some go so far as to not eat honey because, well, bees are somehow exploited in the process. I've mostly got a bemused head-scratching thing going on. Most condoms contain some amount of casein, a protein derived from milk. Many lubes contain the dairy-derived enzyme lactoperozidase. The Sensual Vegan offers Many Vegans don't use birth control pills because they're tested on animals. You'd think there would be some sort of population boom given the lack of easily accessible Vegan-friendly birth control products out there. Moving into the toys section, the site sells a small variety of phthalate-free silicone toys. I'm guessing the phthalate-free note has more to do with correlated Vegan-oriented environmentally friendly issues because phthalates are not an animal product or by product. The Vegan Sex Shop sells a larger variety of items than the Sensual Vegan does, including my favorite LELO brand of vibes. Both sites donate proceeds to charities. The first lets you choose amongst a variety that include PETA, Human Rights Campaign, Code Pink and Vegan Outreach. You get to choose the charity of your choice with each item. The Sensual Vegan site donates a percentage of sales to Scarleteen a site that reaches teens with sane sex advice. When it comes to bondage gear, VeganErotica has a broader selection than either of the other two online stores. This shop sells things made out of"Lorica", a synthetic leather imported from Italy. Their bondage gear looks to be several steps more esthetically pleasing than either of the other two sites. They also sell the Lorica in bulk--so you can buy it and make things yourself--as well as some of the hardware. (The photo on this post is one of the sets sold at VeganErotica.) I also googled "Vegan Sex" and discovered a whole movement that I am not really interested in being a part of. Try it yourself, you might find it an interesting search.
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Welcome to the blog tour for Women in Lust, Rachel Kramer Bussel's latest sex-filled anthology from Cleis Press. I’m fairly open about the fact I write erotica under a pen name. I don’t generally share what it is because I feel some of the subjects I write about are on the edge of societal norms, and I have children who don’t want to be associated with a mom who writes ‘that kind of stuff.’ One day I was at church—yes, church—and I said something oblique about my pen name. A friend of mine gave me this look and said she had a pen name, too. Hers is ‘Brandy Fox,' and her first foray into erotica is published in Women In Lust, the latest anthology edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. When I raised my internet hand to host the blog tour for the new book, it seemed that interviewing my friend was the obvious thing to do.
CC: Brandy, you told me this is your first ever attempt at writing erotica. I’d like to offer my congratulations at making it into an anthology of this quality the first time out the gate. Why did you decide to try your hand at erotica? BF: Thanks! I am delighted to be included in RKB’s anthology. I’ve written and published for many years under my real name—mainly essays, poetry and young adult fiction. The idea of writing erotica, however, was the last genre on my mind. I hardly ever read erotica and I’m pretty shy when it comes to sex. But there are certain similarities between myself and Brooke in Unbidden, one of them being that when I hit forty, my libido went a little wacko. Okay, that’s putting it mildly. Around ovulation time every month, I would think about sex 24-7. Being a busy mom of two young boys and married to a man whose libido was not accelerating the way mine was, I found this a bit distracting. I confided in a friend and she suggested I write some erotica to channel the energy. At the website for the Erotica Readers and Writers Association, I found a long list of calls for submissions. It was great to have a specific theme to write to, as well as a deadline. The writing was clunky at first, but after reading a lot of erotica—for research, of course—I got in the groove and found myself enjoying erotica more than any other writing!
CC: Brooke, the main character in your story, is almost out of control with her sexual desire. What made you have her stop the scene in the bathroom? Was it to send a message? If so, what is it? BF: I set out to write a complex story about a middle-aged woman’s lust that would turn me on, not to write a story that would send a message. Brooke’s fantasies about being with another man turned me on. Ending up in a bathroom at a party with a man she’d always found hot turned me on. But ultimately, the advances of a stranger turned me—and Brooke—off, and the thought of her husband’s trust and utter devotion turned both of us on. For me, love and lust and trust are inseparable. My favorite stories in Women in Lust are the ones where the partners have developed trust, such as Guess by Charlotte Stein and Queen of Sheba by Jen Cross. The stranger-connections are hot, but just don’t turn me on personally. I know that for many, this isn’t the case. Emerald put it well in her review of Women in Lust. She explains that while in some of the stories, lust was an overwhelming motivator, sometimes it wasn’t. “…and there was nothing less hot about those times. On the contrary, these were complex characters, so the story was often not just about unconsidered obedience to a sexual drive—Women in Lust included discerning, aware choosing where lust was concerned. To me this was epitomized in Brandy Fox’s Unbidden."
CC: In another stop along this blog tour, Flightless says, “There's even one story ("Unbidden" by Brandy Fox; do we think that's her real name?) that ventures wonderfully into seldom-charted territory -- this reader can remember only one other story, by Michael Chabon, that dared to do this: it describes hot, intimate, passionate sex between two people who are married -- to each other.” Did you know you were being daring by having hot sex between married people? What’s your take on that? BF: My first reaction to this quote is, Uncharted territory?! Are you serious?! But here’s what’s scary: “Flightless” is absolutely correct. Now that I’ve read a lot of erotica, I see the gaping hole where sex between married partners should be. My goal is to fill that hole, no pun intended. As a matter of fact, I have written a story where a married couple not only has hot sex, but has it in the same room as their two young kids who are so hypnotized by a movie they have no idea it’s going on. Their sex is playful, and very much influenced by their immersion in the world of raising kids, but that doesn’t make it any less erotic. I would not call myself daring. Again, I’m just trying to write unique stories that turn me on, and that includes long-term, committed partners making sex a priority. By the way, I’m completely flattered to be compared to Michael Chabon. From what I’ve read, he and his wife Ayelet Waldman have made sex a high priority in their relationship. Hot hot hot!
CC: One of the things I found interesting is that Brooke has gone through some effort to tighten and firm her body and to become more ‘attractive’ physically. What effect do you think this has on her vs. her husband and then her sex life? Do you think the story would have changed significantly if she hadn’t gone through the transformation? And, how does her mental transformation parallel that of her physical? BF: Research—and my own experience—shows that there is a connection between weight loss, physical activity and increased libido. In Unbidden, the attention Brooke gives to her appearance and her sex drive excites her husband. I think anyone whose spouse feels more confident and sexy would be attracted to that. For Brooke, her transformation at age 40 lifted her out of the post-baby-raising slump many new parents fall into. Once out of that slump, feeling sexier than she had ever felt before and therefore acting sexier, she was more likely to attract people to her and end up with a near-stranger’s knee pressed seductively into her groin. So yes, I think her story would have been different if she hadn’t had that transformation. Different in what way? I’m not sure.
CC: Now for the image that had me laughing in conspiratorial glee…The carrot. I know I have grown a few Italian Zucchinis that had me wanting to pop a condom on them. The notion that anything remotely phallic shaped would send a woman into lustful overdrive is not likely new to women, but the fact you actually wrote about it the way you did is something I haven’t seen before. I think many women aren’t going to mention stuff like that over coffee at Starbuck’s or while out to dinner with friends. Why did you include it in the story? BF: One of the things I love about writing erotica is that so many of the stories are about just that—stuff you don’t mention over coffee at Starbucks. (Although writing erotica has definitely made me more comfortable talking about sex, even in Starbucks). I included the carrot “scene” in the story for two reasons: 1) Precisely as you said above, it is hardly a new thought to women, yet it’s somehow shocking to say it out loud; 2) To illustrate Brooke’s “unbidden” libido. She’s so horny she can’t even stay away from phallic-looking vegetables as she cooks for her family.
CC: My husband is very selective in what he will read when it comes to my erotic writing. I know his taste well enough to not show him the things that will squigg him out. Does your husband read your erotica work? What’s his reaction to it? BF: Just to illustrate how shy I used to be about sex—and in many ways I still am—I’ll tell you that it was a HUGE deal to show my husband my first erotica story, which was Unbidden. I waited to show him when we’d have some private time together, assuming it would turn him on so much he’d attack me right then and there. Well, it turns out a story about a woman getting hit on by a man who is not her husband doesn’t turn him on. Since then, I’ve shown him other stories that are easier for him to read, but they never get him immediately horny or anything. I write erotica for women, so the stories just don’t do it for him. One huge benefit to writing erotica, though, has been an increased comfort in communication about sex with my husband. As expected, it’s improved our sex life immensely.
Women In Lust is easily available in print or on Kindle at Amazon. More about the editor, Rachel Kramer Bussell, can be found here. |
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I can state emphatically and with pride that my seventeen year old knows all about the proper use of a condom. Every teen should be so lucky, but I'm not the one who taught her how to use them. She learned the Ten Steps To Condom Use a few years ago in her junior youth group at church as they went through the Our Whole Lives curriculum. As a junior in High School she is in the midst of the High School portion of the curriculum. A couple of weeks ago, one of the leaders casually challenged all the youth to go procure their own condoms during the week-- preferably that they purchase them and not pilfer them from parents or friends. My daughter took the assignment with her usual positive aplomb and approached a girlfriend after school to head over to a local drug store after school. Mind you, my daughter attends school in the down town of a fairly large city and the local drug store for her really amounted to one of those somewhat sleazy mini-marts with two choices of condoms. She and her friend linked arms, picked the cheapest package--their only criteria--and she bought her first pack of condoms. On the bus ride home, her friend admitted to never having seen a condom before. My daughter, being who she is, opened the package of two and handed one to her friend, right there on the bus, and then she proceeded to give her a brief lesson in proper condom usage. I don't know what the other adults on the bus saw or might have thought about this exchange, but I for one, would have been listening in. No one ever gave me the ten steps to condom use. I had to learn about things hit and miss. When I was eighteen, I relied on condoms in spite of lack of proper knowlledge and relying on my partner to do everything right. Knowing Step Number Nine could have saved me a half hour of fishing around my cervix looking for a seemingly lost condom and several weeks of stress. (Yes, certain lessons are hard learned, but I'm glad my kid knows some of the rules ahead of the hands-on experience.) It's interesting what kids bring home these days. I can guarantee I'm listening. |
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I'm still a newb when it comes to this whole author thing. I've submitted work under this name and my "real life name" and have yet to make any money at it. I have one story that is tentatively accepted for an anthology under this name, and a few others "out in the world under consideration" by various publications and editors. The waiting process can feel excrutiating. The latest periodical I sent a story to said that it could take between 184 and 368 days to respond. Seriously? Thankfully, most places are cool with multiple submissions. Frankly, I WANT my story to appear in THAT periodical though, so I will wait to send it elsewhere. It's okay to have it sitting out there in the interwebvoid for a while. They promise they will respond, and I've already received their online confirmation, so I can be patient. I have a list of deadlines for erotic anthologies that I am working my way through, I've promised a review for a book I am still reading, and am going to host the blog tour for a new Cleis anthology at the end of this month. So, why, if I'm pretty busy writing, do I "do NaNoWriMo," particularly when I have plenty of unfinished novels waiting for my attention? Simply put, it's training. I'm not very good at keeping up with schedules and daily writing. Oh, I try. And I do write every day, but I am easily distracted by things. For example, instead of working on my novel, I am blogging. I am doing this simply because I didn't know a fact that I was trying to write about and turned away from the story for a diversion. One thing led to another, and I though, "Oh...blog post." I'm going to concentrate more on the novel this year. It turns out that I stumbled onto a pretty solid plot-line, and I've started to fall in love with my main character. It's not an erotic novel, though, so I won't be talking much about it here. Just know that my next blog post is likely to be the book tour post on November 30th. And, now, back to some focused writing on that NaNo thing. |
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I'm going to admit something that sort of makes me blush. A lot. The term "fisting" is one that didn't enter my active mental vocabulary until relatively recently. Sure, I remember reading or hearing Susie Bright reminiscing about working on a movie as an advisor (I believe it was Bound?) She describes a fisting scene in the movie. It's an important moment in film because it shows two lesbians in a very realistic way that hadn't been shown before. While I could clearly imagine the physical act of fisting as she described the scene, the term 'fisting' itself was one that passed me by. I actually had to Google the term "fisting" during the last presidential race. Remember the slip-up some news anchor had when she said "the Obamas even like fisting," or something like that? Yeah. I know! And, being a mostly straight chick, the actual act of fisting was something I hadn't really thought of much at all even after the giggles and links to the Obama thing had passed. I grew up in a conservative town with conservative parents (who, I've talked about before only really pretended to be sexually conservative.) If there was any talk about sex in the house, it was of very straight conventional cock in pussy sort of sex. I know my brothers joked about oral sex, but it was only one way around--girl on guy. I think that the blog post by Jincey Lumpkin is a particularly moving and relevant post, and, rather than try to summarize her post, I'm just suggesting you read it. (really, click the link) For people who were raised the way I was--fisting is hardily on the radar. And, that's a shameful bit of ignorance. Fisting deserves a rightful place in the sexual vocabulary for all, and not as some side story meant to induce embarrassed, uninformed giggles. When my kids ask me how two women have sex, I will tell them. And, fisting will be part of the discussion.
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I'm not personally into writing stories that involve young characters having sex. But, as a writer, I feel stifled by the rule all the same. What about flashbacks? Here I am, nearly forty-five years old, and I am thinking back to my first sexual encounters. I seem to recall masturbating regularly by the time I was nine, if not younger. When I was twelve, my girlfriend and I got naked with her older brother, tied him up and teased him. There was no touching of any kind and certainly no intercourse, so I never really considered this a sexual encounter until very recently. Not only was it a menage, it was baby-bondage, and totally consensual--at least for me and the boy. I have no way of knowing if there was some other relationship dynamic between him and his sister or what happened after I left that afternoon. My friend was eleven and her brother was fourteen. I was thirteen the first time my hand slid inside the pants of a guy to find a gooey mess within moments, and I was only seventeen when I started having intercourse. In between, there was lots of kissing, groping, bumping and grinding. BTW, some of this fondling and groping is considered to be as illegal as intercourse before the age of consent in some states. To my younger mind and body, this was all very hot and exciting. I remember having fun and feeling good. How does it make sense to not acknowledge and even write about the fact that young people have positive sexual experiences before they are eighteen? What's more frustrating, it's fine to write about negative sexual experiences. For example, if you write a memoir about being raped when you are ten, it's likely to be considered literary. Heck, you might even win a prize for being a survivor. You can describe it in gory detail as long as you do it without the intent of causing boners and wet panties. But, what about a memoir where someone discovers the joy of their sexuality? What if that discovery was made at nine, twelve or fifteen? People cringe at the notion of "children having sex." Even if there has been no relationships, I think nearly almost everyone has at least masturbated by the time they are eighteen. The notion that any sex-positive images of people under eighteen is considered illegal or pornographic, while, at the same time, anything that is sex-negatvie is okay is baffling and disturbing at the same time. In the recent movie SuckerPunch there was a bit of controversy laid out well in this article. There was a scene where a young character (not sure of her age, but under 18?) who was getting hot and heavy with an older man. The original cut, apparently, showed her having a strong and seductive sensual power. She was saying yes and taking charge. Then, the ratings game kicked in and they edited the scene until it was practically a rape scene so they could tone it down to PG-13. What the fuck? You can't show a girl enjoying getting it on, but you can show her being raped and consider it PG-13? I'm not advocating for young people to have indiscriminate, unsafe sex--I don't think that's good for anyone. I'm just asking for people to look at the realities of life. Even if it's not ideal, it's happening all around us. And to be told you can't write about it, even if you don't really want to, is really, really annoying.
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Where else but in Las Vegas, Nevada would be the natural choice for a group of erotic writers to gather? The first annual Erotic Author's Association took place there last week, and it was certainly a success. The quality of presenters and the variety of topics covered in two short days was very impressive. The list of participants is rather like a who's who of the erotic fiction world. I barely squeaked into the conference with my single short story, basically self-published at that. However, the next time I go, I am certain to have more work under my proverbial belt, and not a chastity one. The conference was held at the aging classic Flamingo Hotel and Casino. It's hard to be impressed by the casino itself as it's surrounded by much more interesting and exciting venues. The price breakdown made the convention that much more affordable for more people, so I am not really complaining. The fact is, when you are attending a conference, you spend so much time in the conference center that the rest of the hotel hardly matters until the evenings. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a huge fan of Vegas in general. I lived in Reno for long enough that my old North-South Nevada Rivalry colors my views. However, the latest addition to the strip is the Cosmopolitan Hotel, and it has an interior that made my jaw drop. It's lavish decor is stunning and impressive in a very Steampunk kind of way. The conference, though, was why I was there, and both my meanderings beyond the Flamingo compound were conference related. After a full day of workshops and panels on Friday--Erotic Romance, Story Development, Selling Erotica, Queer Erotica--we had the opportunity to read at the Erotic Heritage Museum. Surrounded by a stage that looks like it could house a Roman orgy complete with ten six foot tall marble cocks as columns, about twenty-five or so people read for five minutes each. The content varied widely from deeply personal, to slap-the knee funny, to squirm in your seat hot. This is a talented pool of writers. Saturday's workshops were equally fun and informative-- Writing a Series, Taboos, Hands on Kink, and E Publishing. Being someone who enjoys kink without much ability to participate in the lifestyle, I really appreciated Gray Dancer's hand's on demonstration. He ran out of time in his workshop, and he managed to convince his volunteer to come to the after-con cocktail party and let him demonstrate an elaborate rope-tie during the event. She spent more time tied up than able to drink and socialize, but I know many of us appreciated her sacrifice. I met so many people who "I had heard of" or read that it was a little bit mind blowing--pubishers, editors, writers all. I found myself warmly accepted into this community even though I'm basically an unknown noob. I'm looking forward to building on these new connections and finding my place in this charming genre. |
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When I first decided to write erotica, I spent some time thinking about a pen name. I had been using the name Cecilia over at Elliquiy, and it seemed like a no-brainer to stick with that as a first name. I wanted a last name for some reason, so I played around with a lot of options until I ended up with Duvalle. It's a variant of a spelling of a town near where I live. On the day where I said, "I've got to decide this damn pen name...." there was an earthquake in the town of Duvall....so there's my reasoning. Besides, Cecilia Duvalle has a nice ring as does C.C. Duvalle. I have two different options to use when it comes to publishing. I've been plugging away at writing under my 'real name' as well as this pen name. The erotica came along as a way to blow of steam, spend words and have fun but ended up being more than just that. It sounds trite, but they do say to do what you love....the money will come later. I'm still waiting for the money to come, but the rest--the love of writing and of writing erotica--that's well under way. But I have always felt a little bit like a cheat for using images that are not of me on this site, Facebook and Twitter. They are designed for social networking, and I didn't like the facade I was presenting to the world. I attended the local writers conference this last weekend. This is a cross-genre conference that doesn't actually include erotica per se, but spans the gamut and includes poetry, sci-fi, fantasy, literary, memoir, mystery, thriller, historical, young adult, romance, and mainstream fiction. There are workshops that border on the edge of sexy topics, but nothing in particular for erotica writers. I went with a non-fiction idea to pitch since the conference sets attendees up with at least one agent as part of the conference. I figured I'd go ahead and see if my proposal piqued any interest. It did, but that's for a different blog under a different name. The conference also brought in several vendors. One of them was Mark Bennington Headshots. For a reasonable price, he spends about twenty minutes shooting in natural light. When I first stopped by the booth, I told him I didn't need a headshot. I told him I wanted something that didn't show my face so I could still be anonymous, but yet something that was...me. At first, I thought he was joking when he said, "What about your feet?" I ambled off to another workshop with his proposal playing around in my head for a while. I came back and asked him if he was serious. He showed me a book he's working on, and I made an appointment for the following day. I've wanted to use an image of myself that was authentically me. I didn't have to go shopping for the fishnets or the shoes. I already owned them. The legs are mine. God knows I've put enough effort into shaping them at the gym, and I like them. The photos are entirely untouched by photoshop or any other editing program. I'm in the process of switching out the fake, not-me avatars with the new pics. So there you go. CC revealed. Sort of.
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Recently, I've taken to just writing what comes to mind when I sit down. The hit and miss approach to writing is not always productive, and can be actively counter-productive. Rather than forcing myself to open a particular document in progress and work at finishing something, I'll open with whatever has struck my fancy that moment--usually a story idea that gets expressed as a rough outline in about a thousand words or less. By then, my free time is up and I have real-life Mom related chores to attend to. Being a mother with kids out of school for the summer has decidedly reduced the amount of time or energy I have available for writing, or almost anything else. I suppose I could send them to the basement and feed them a steady diet of Playstation and X-box, but that's really counter to how I want to raise them. Sure, when they are at school, I'll put a solid six hours straight into screen-time, but that's what I call "my job." Even if I'm not being paid very much for it, yet. Worse, being in the mood for writing erotica coincides with me being alone. It really shouldn't matter all that much, but I am finding that when my kids are around--even if they are way far away in the basement or outside, I'm simply not really that excited to write erotica. It has a little to do with the fact that my computer faces the hallway and anyone walking up behind me can get a good look at my screen. It could have to do with the fact that writing erotica does require that I'm sort of in the mood for it. I'm not suggesting that I have one hand in my pants while typing one-handed...well, at least not ALL the time, but there's something to the writing of erotica that is a private act for me. Having the eight year old thumping around near me, even if he can't see my words, certainly affects them. Writing of any kind involves placing my mind in a certain place, filtering out the various sounds and things around me and mentally entering the space of the world I'm trying to create and the heads of the characters to which I am bringing to life. When I am writing well, I've entered a particularly calm and clear space where I can see, hear, taste and smell the very things I'm describing in prose. And, like gearing up for sex, it sometimes takes a little foreplay to get me really in the mood for it. Without that extra time, I've tried to jump straight into the writing to use the precious time I have and have found both the product and the process less than satisfying. I'm looking forward to a few playdates and a week of summer day-camp in August where I'll have my house, and my head, all to myself.
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Have you ever thought something would be super simple only to discover it's not as easy once you get going? Most writers will tell you that they have been writing since they were children. We tend to find writing a necessary compulsion akin to eating and breathing. For me, if I don't write,I feel like I'm going insane. I get cranky, ornery and stressed and I feel like I am going to explode from the inside out. We went on a family vacation recently, and I had a great time. We went to Ireland, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. Loved it. There were only two things about it that were not ideal. The first is we shared a room with our kids. Sex was very intermittent and furtive. I felt sneaky trying to stay under the covers and being nearly silent. I've already written about being quiet in my own home, but this was another level all together. The second is that I had limited time to do any writing. I blogged a bit under my real name, but it was hardly the quantity of word output that I am used to. When I got home, I itched to get back at it with a passion, but jet lag was pretty severe so I'm just now getting back into the swing of writing again. Yay. So, back to the easier "said than done" that I started with. I've written several thousand hot and steamy posts on Elliquiy as part of my roleplaying. All of that has been in a cooperative sense with my awesome partners giving as much back as I was giving them. (There are some intensely creative people over there.) Even with all that experience as a roleplayer, I haven't actually done much solo writing in erotica. I finally sat down and spent a week working on a short piece for Tinglemedia, writing it solely for the use of that site. The concept there is really fun, and I hope anyone reading this will click on the link and check them out. Tinglemedia.com My name there is the same here, Cecilia Duvalle, and you should have no problem finding my story. Please think about joining the site and buying a few stories. At .69 per read, it's an inexpensive little bit of entertainment. If you know my writing from Elliquiy, , you might be a bit surprised at the tameness of the story. There's a bit of kink in it, but it's mild in comparison to a lot of what you might have seen from me over at E. It's a short story in a singular point-of-view, not a role-play. I had some help with editing and revision from a friend or two, but other than that, it's only available on Tingle.
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I picked up January's issue of Veg News on a whim while at the grocery store the other day. I was flipping through the magazine when I saw an advertisement screaming "Vegan Sex." My attention was immediately focused. I've been relating 'eating a vegan diet" to, well, food and not much else. I sometimes forget there is this whole other environmental and animal sensitive thing going on with "Vegans." The ad that caught my attention was for 

I saw an author I respect recently say something about how she's always writing a novel so NaNoWrimo has no meaning for her. I think that's awesome for her. And, I hope to get to the point, some day, that I can dismiss NaNoWriMo entirely from my life as something quaint and of the past. I can see what she's saying though. An artificially imposed month for writing a novel is something for amateurs, for people who do it for the fun of it once a year without any pretense at publishing other than maybe some lofty dreams. For people who are attempting to make a living at writing professionally, it does seem superfluous. Shouldn't you always be writing, if you are a writer?
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Age is a hot topic when discussing writing. At the Erotic Authors Association conference in Las Vegas last week, it was clear that there is a lot of care taken by the members of the association to keep things legal in their writing. This generally means that characters always end up being over eighteen before they have sex. Each state has