Saving Room For Sex

A friend of mine linked this article on her Facebook page on Thanksgiving day. I went back to look for it and she’d taken it down. Apparently, someone said something to her about how shocking it was that she had posted it. It makes me sad to think that a married woman who commented, “Keeping the man healthy works for me” as a response to this article felt compelled or embarrassed to take it down.

Apparently men who have three orgasms a week, either through intercourse with an other or by masturbating, are healthier than men who do not. The link between orgasm and health is symbiotic, healthier men have more orgasms, and that makes them healthier. I’d imagine that another author might have taken a time to ask the question, “Does this also hold true for women?”

The link between health and sex seems obvious to me. When my mom died way too young, I made some changes in my life. At the outset it was merely to become healthy and live longer. I do Pilates, work out at the gym lifting weights and cardio, and eat way better than I used to. As a result, I became much more interested in sex. The Pilates was great for flexibility and balance–I can wrap my legs around my husband’s neck and actively enjoy the position. Being stronger, fit and more trim makes sex more enjoyable…things simply feel better.

What bugged me most about this article are the inane comments that followed it. A number focused on the photograph with the article–about the lack of wedding rings and the mixed race of the couple. I thought we were living in 2010, not Victorian England. Sheesh.


I’ve got four days left to finish my NaNoWriMo gig. The post below contains an active link to the NaNoWriMo site so it’s got an accurate word count on it. The story is going along rather well for me. I’m finding the need to do research in the midst of writing a bit of a hindrance, and a great procrastination technique. I’m writing in two distinct eras and am finding the research into 16th Century Venetian sex moires fascinating. The number of whores in Venice were far greater than any other female profession or position. The sex toys were limited by technology, but bone, wood,ivory, leather and metal were all used. The wood and possible splinters sort of squigg me out a bit, but people used what they had.

Using believable terminology for the era is important to me as a writer. It would make no sense for a woman in 1599 to write a diary entry that used the terms Sadist or Masochist. I found myself spending an hour reading about Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch. The things I never learned in school….

NaNoWriMo Is Underway

I’m currently on day ten of the November writing frenzy known as NaNoWriMo for short–National Novel Writing Month. It’s been under fire recently for encouraging people to write badly for a month. It’s grown from a relatively small group of people to a world-wide writing party.

I know some folks seriously entertain the notion that what they write during NaNo will be worthy of readership. I hold no such illusions. I know that what I’m doing is an exercise in writing that is both exhausting and useful in its own way. It’s only a beginning; a place to start exploring a story, no more.

The novel I’m working on came to me as a spin-off of a roleplay I am doing at World Enough and Time. (See sidebar for link.) The roleplay is very different, actually, but I am using the same character for an idea I had a while ago.

Maddie is a young woman is working for a museum in Italy and has come across a diary dated 1599. The diary is unusual in that it details a sexual relationship between a young Venetian housewife and her lover. Maddie has her own sexual needs and desires that haven’t been fully evolved or expressed, and her own life takes on a strange parallel to that of the woman in the diary.

Maddie begins to do research into the history of BDSM and finds herself drawn to the modern version of the lifestyle more and more. She gains a new understanding of her own sexuality through the experiences of this woman who died four hundred years before she was born.

That’s the basic premise. Anyway, The ticker at the top should, I hope, stay updated with my progress.

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