Getting In The Mood

Writing takes on several forms for me.  I blog here and, more regularly even, under my ‘real’ name.  I’m pitching a non-fiction book to an agent at a conference in eleven days, working on several novels with haphazard planning and no real direction,  writing several short stories for the erotic market, and I’m writing posts to various roleplays over at Elliquiy.  I have other projects I work on, and I find that I’m writing every day for some reason or another.   Email and Facebook updates don’t count, but I need to get some words out on a daily basis or my head gets uncomfortably full.  It doens’t usually matter what I am writing to satisfy that base need of mine.  As long as I’m writing something, anything, I feel better by the end of the day. It’s something like being so hungry you’ll just eat what is in front of you no matter what it tastes like.  

Recently, I’ve taken to just writing what comes to mind when I sit down.  The hit and miss approach to writing is not always productive, and can be actively counter-productive.  Rather than forcing myself to open a particular document in progress and work at finishing something, I’ll open with whatever has struck my fancy that moment–usually a story idea that gets expressed as a rough outline in about a thousand words or less.  By then, my free time is up and I have real-life Mom related chores to attend to.  Being a mother with kids out of school for the summer has decidedly reduced the amount of time or energy I have available for writing, or almost anything else.  I suppose I could send them to the basement and feed them a steady diet of Playstation and X-box, but that’s really counter to how I want to raise them.  Sure, when they are at school, I’ll put a solid six hours straight into screen-time, but that’s what I call “my job.”  Even if I’m not being paid very much for it, yet.  

Worse, being in the mood for writing erotica coincides with me being alone.  It really shouldn’t matter all that much, but I am finding that when my kids are around–even if they are way far away in the basement or outside, I’m simply not really that excited to write erotica.  It has a little to do with the fact that my computer faces the hallway and anyone walking up behind me can get a good look at my screen.  It could have to do with the fact that writing erotica does require that I’m sort of in the mood for it.  I’m not suggesting that I have one hand in my pants while typing one-handed…well, at least not ALL the time, but there’s something to the writing of erotica that is a private act for me.  Having the eight year old thumping around near me, even if he can’t see my words, certainly affects them. 

Writing of any kind involves placing my mind in a certain place, filtering out the various sounds and things around me and mentally entering the space of the world I’m trying to create and the heads of the characters to which I am bringing to life.  When I am writing well, I’ve entered a particularly calm and clear space where I can see, hear, taste and smell the very things I’m describing in prose.  And, like gearing up for sex, it sometimes takes a little foreplay to get me really in the mood for it.  Without that extra time, I’ve tried to jump straight into the writing to use the precious time I have and have found both the product and the process less than satisfying.  I’m looking forward to a few playdates and a week of summer day-camp in August where I’ll have my house, and my head, all to myself.  

 

Saving Room For Sex

A friend of mine linked this article on her Facebook page on Thanksgiving day. I went back to look for it and she’d taken it down. Apparently, someone said something to her about how shocking it was that she had posted it. It makes me sad to think that a married woman who commented, “Keeping the man healthy works for me” as a response to this article felt compelled or embarrassed to take it down.

Apparently men who have three orgasms a week, either through intercourse with an other or by masturbating, are healthier than men who do not. The link between orgasm and health is symbiotic, healthier men have more orgasms, and that makes them healthier. I’d imagine that another author might have taken a time to ask the question, “Does this also hold true for women?”

The link between health and sex seems obvious to me. When my mom died way too young, I made some changes in my life. At the outset it was merely to become healthy and live longer. I do Pilates, work out at the gym lifting weights and cardio, and eat way better than I used to. As a result, I became much more interested in sex. The Pilates was great for flexibility and balance–I can wrap my legs around my husband’s neck and actively enjoy the position. Being stronger, fit and more trim makes sex more enjoyable…things simply feel better.

What bugged me most about this article are the inane comments that followed it. A number focused on the photograph with the article–about the lack of wedding rings and the mixed race of the couple. I thought we were living in 2010, not Victorian England. Sheesh.

**********

I’ve got four days left to finish my NaNoWriMo gig. The post below contains an active link to the NaNoWriMo site so it’s got an accurate word count on it. The story is going along rather well for me. I’m finding the need to do research in the midst of writing a bit of a hindrance, and a great procrastination technique. I’m writing in two distinct eras and am finding the research into 16th Century Venetian sex moires fascinating. The number of whores in Venice were far greater than any other female profession or position. The sex toys were limited by technology, but bone, wood,ivory, leather and metal were all used. The wood and possible splinters sort of squigg me out a bit, but people used what they had.

Using believable terminology for the era is important to me as a writer. It would make no sense for a woman in 1599 to write a diary entry that used the terms Sadist or Masochist. I found myself spending an hour reading about Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch. The things I never learned in school….